“ Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I came across an old blog post of mine yesterday, by pure serendipitous timing
“ Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I remember writing those words, stating that I never understood the relevance of that question but that I “got it”. Well, was I ever so wrong about “getting it”
Being a busy working Dad to a profoundly autistic little boy it can be hard to take stock at times.
Five years is really not a long time. In fact it has been almost five to the day since I wrote that particular piece and find myself writing this one
“Five years ago I was sitting in a cell, a guest of her majesty's prison system, I can quite vividly remember being unable to envisage a future for myself. My present was so chaotic and unbearably full of pain and suffering and that pain and suffering had muddied the waters of my perception of self and my future ambitions.”
On my release I was directed to a local homeless charity, Archer Project. They initially helped me to resettle, then gave me supported work & wrap around care within their social enterprises. I trained in cleaning, then moved to Printed by Us training in screenprinting, retail & event co-ordination, and eventually co- hosted creative workshops for local recovery groups
I was a natural salesman, and through engaging with the public and meeting so many who could relate in some way to my story I began to realise my past no longer defined me, it was about where I was now.
During my time there we grew from tiny local markets to our own bricks & mortar store, crowdfunded for our own workshop, screenprinted for Tate Britain & I regularly represented both Printed by Us & Archer Project in the media, blogs & via poetry performances & featured in a photography exhibition entitled Handle with Care (credit to Mark Harvey for the photograph from this which accompanies this blog)
Offers of work externally began to come in. I led a local Creative Mornings event, was asked to write a series of blogs for South Yorkshire Police’s Violence Reduction Unit, and worked with Dr Rowan Mckenzie on several of her research projects.
A big break for me professionally was via my friend Daniela, who recommended me as a guest lecturer to her contact at The University of Sheffield’s Law school. I lead my talk with a poem, then talk about my childhood in rural Ireland, my time in the Navy, and how the abuse, traumas & hardship I experienced throughout led me on a spiral through mental health issues (undiagnosed Autism) addiction and the eventual wave of crime that landed me 22 months inside. I highlight the importance of the arts, the grassroots project & incredible individuals within the Justice system who genuinely believe in rehabilitation.
I was later asked to deliver a similar talk for the summer school of prospective Law & Sociology students at Sheffield Hallam University. These lectures have since formed a regular part of those modules, and the feedback from students has been incredible.
I have collaborated with the Royal Foundation, sitting on their regional panel informing policy change from within as they marked the launch of their homelessness charity Homewards in my city. It was there that I met HRH the Prince of Wales for the first time & I had the opportunity to tell him my story of recovery and rehabilitation. He was saddened by it but also impressed by my ability to articulate it
An invite to London as a keynote speaker at an event for Homewards key figures & coalition members followed this, where I was introduced by Prince William himself.
Homewards also commisioned me to produce a poem for their Christmas campaign. My piece of spoken word was played over videos of their royal highnesses going about their charitable work. This was another great honour for me both professionally and personally.
During this time I was approached by the Prison Radio Association, for a National Prison Radio & BBC radio broadcast “Behind the crime” - an hour long interview with forensic psychologists Sally Tilt and Karenza Hocken seeking to change perspectives on how & why people end up committing crime. This landmark series was chosen as pick of the week on Radio times and was subsequently nominated for an Orwell Award, then turned into an audiobook by Penguin publishing.
I am lucky enough to be working with Prison Radio Association again, doing something that feels like a natural direction for me. Drawing on my own creative practice, peer mentoring & shared/ lived experience, I have designed and facilitated a peer led poetry workshop in various men's prisons, for their regular broadcast At Ease.
We are recording a Remembrance Day show, featuring these works by veterans from a broad range of backgrounds. The feeling of sparking something inside these men & hearing their words is an honour & privilege. It truly feels like I am on the right path.
Every single one of these opportunities has come about via word of mouth or personal recommendation, so although it's often an anxious space stepping off into the unknown I am eager to see what the future holds for me.
Whilst I will remain at Archer Project in my part time peer mentor role it truly feels like a natural time to step away from Printed by Us & dedicate that time to my freelance projects & personal development.
As I try to summarise the absolute whirlwind these past 5 years, seeing all of this in black & white some of it barely seems real. I am so grateful for the reflection & perspective unearthing this old blog has given me
Sometimes having a plan and seeing it come to fruition can be difficult..
It’s hard to see the forest for the trees, but plant your seeds, water and nourish your saplings, and who knows..
Maybe in five years you might just have a small copse of trees that you can see slowly bloom into your very own forest.
Link to original blog -
https://www.printedbyus.org/blogs/news/a-reflection-on-recovery